"A man that hath friends must show himself friendly......." Prov. 18:24
One of the hardest things to do in life is striking up a new friendship. People either have friends they like hanging with or are to busy to make new ones. Either way, I believe we all have traits that either draw people to us or push them away. In this article, I will discuss many ways to attract new friendships.
Be Friendly: I believe if we are going to have friends, it is going to start with us. I don't know how many times I've heard people say, "I have a hard time making friends," yet they won't even go so far as to extend a hand of friendship or a greeting. If we're going to make friends, we must first be one. Challenge yourself to leave your comfort zone and talk to people. Yes, you're going to feel awkward but that's normal. Everything done for the first time seems awkward. By the way, take your smile with you. I'll discuss that later.
Be Confident: When you walk into an environment where there are potential friends, walk in with your head up high and a smile on your face. Notice I said be confident and not arrogant. The two are distinctly different. To be confident means you are happy with yourself no matter what flaws you have and aren't afraid for others to find out. To be arrogant means you are concerned with what others think of you so much so that you put on a facade. You either exaggerate who you really are in hopes of covering up the truth or you accentuate your strengths and downplay your weaknesses hoping to cover up what you dislike about yourself. By the way, being confident used to be taught in homes across America. Most folks enjoy someone who knows who they are and are not afraid of their own shadow. Believe in yourself. By this I don't mean in some spiritual way; I mean, know who you are, and what God given talents you have. Yes, I said God given because you didn't just conjure them up, you were born with them.
Smile: There is nothing more appealing than a hardy smile. There are funny legends of Davy Crockett's ability to grin (smile) any creature, human or animal, to his side. They say he could bag a racoon with a smile. The racoon would see his smile and just give in and jump into his bag. Now obviously, that is just story telling but the point is made. A smile has the ability to weaken the hardest heart. Ladies, use your smile cautiously. I say that because some men can get the wrong idea. Men say they can't read between the lines and that's true, but what they don't tell you is they also tend to read into things when there's nothing there.
Stay positve when you talk to someone: When you talk about someone to someone else, it is a clear indication that you have no discretion. Eventually you will talk about the person you are talking with. The old saying, "if you have nothing good to say, don't say it" still makes good sense. People like friends who encourage them instead of draining them. I'm not sayng to lie because that only destroys friendships; I'm saying to find the light at the end of the tunnel when you talk to them. In fact, that is a good practice to follow with yourself. Ask yourself: have you ever met a happy negative person? Point made. Stay Positive!
Be a good listener: There is a reason why God gave us two ears and one mouth. We are to listen twice as much as we speak. Sometimes a friend just needs someone to vent to. They don't always need some profound statement from you. Most counselors listen twice as much as they speak. I think we can learn something from liscensed counselors.
Beware of self-aggrandizement: Try to avoid talking about yourself. Talk about a major turn off when trying to build friendships. Talking about yourself is a clear sign that you are self-centered. You are not looking for a friendship but a cheerleader.
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